Insomnia BITES!

Once again...here I am, still awake at 3am while everything else in my house is snoring... even my butthole dog!*sigh*
I hate nights like this...where Random thoughts of mine could be deposited into the industrial think tank that would surely solve the world's problems...in other words...I CAN'T SHUT MY BRAIN OFF!  Uhg!  I don't think my husband's head even touched the pillow before he was sound asleep.  Ahh....to be that lucky! *double sigh*  Surfing the net, checking out who is still awake on facebook...which is like me and one other person....lol.
Oh well, there's always YouTube there for my entertainment.  I really do need to go to sleep, have to work tomorrow and really need my wits about me.  *triple sigh*  Did find a couple of really funny little clips to share with you guys though...

this next one is a parody of that 80's song, Total Eclipse of the Heart.  It's the literal video, made me laugh...

funny, huh?

Ok...going to try to reaquaint myself with my pillow, wish me luck!

In Grace and Peace,

D

This is hilarious....
At least if you remember the first one! lol....enjoy!

*JUST BREATHE*

Ok... you know that moment where everything starts to spin so fast that you feel like you're going to puke if you don't exit the ride soon?  Yep....and we're there.  So, now you know what kind of time I've had in the last 3 weeks.  My last post was the very wee hours of Feb. 22, later that morning, we got the dreaded call that my father in law had passed away.  Although, he was in poor health, I don't think you are ever truly prepared.  My husband was very close to his dad and this was exceptionally difficult for him, especially since we were so far away.  Running back and forth trying to help out as much as possible, we were basically on autopilot.  Then, the following Tuesday, March 1st, I get a call from my sister telling me that my brother in law, her husband, had unexpectedly passed away.  What a shock!  Unbelievable!  So, I packed a bag as quickly as possible and set out for Utah...the wheels on my poor little SUV have been turning ever since.  This has truly opened my eyes to a lot of things though...We always think that our tasks are so important.  That our purpose in this world has to be so monumental...It's easy to put it all on the back burner while we try to be over-achievers in our fast paced lives.  God didn't design us that way, what are we doing??  We always think we have one more day, one more hug, one more kiss goodnight, one more chance to do the right thing, one more chance to apologize, one more time to tell your family and friends that you love them...
I know I'm guilty of that.  We get so focused on "works", but even the Bible will tell you that without Grace....works mean nothing.  So I guess, don't take your NOW for granted, because technically it's the only time you will ever own.  Watching my loved ones having to make such major decisions in their darkest times of grief, totally sucks!  And I know it has shown me how important it is to take control of those reins early in the game.  Don't wait until the last minute to take care of details like this.  I know most mortuarys have plans you can purchase and make payments on...also, check into cemetary plots...I know it seems morbid to discuss with your spouses or other family members, but it's so important!  If you tend to these important final details, INCLUDING A WILL...then your loved ones won't have to deal with this when they are just trying to deal with the substantial loss.   
There is peace in preparation...
In Grace and Peace
D 

Things that Suck...

What is it about toothaches that make you rather amputate a digit or two than to deal with that annoying throbbing pain?  Good grief!!  I really should probably go self medicate, but I'm stubborn and hate taking pills.  So, everyone in the house is snoring, except me...again.  Insomnia and tooth pain...there...I ammended the suck factor.  Both of those suck, of course if the toothache were gone, maybe the insomnia would be too.  

So since I'm up, I thought I'd turn on the boob tube for noise  to drown out the chainsaw-like noise that is pouring out of my husbands mouth.  And wouldn't ya know it, a "Requiem for a Dream" is on IFC.  Alright, I love thirty seconds to mars, they are one of my alltime most favorite bands...HOWEVER...Jared Leto, honey...you pick some really tweeked movie roles to play!  Just stick to music, dude....talk about depressing....

On a disturbing note, my father in law's health is failing quickly.  My eleven year old son has never had to deal with death and is having a super hard time right now dealing with all the emotions that go with losing a loved one.  Trying hard to lean on our faith right now while trying to explain to him and help him sort through all of the feelings.  I feel so sad for him, I wish I knew how to ease his mind and let him know everything will be ok.  The natural order of things, the fact that death is just a part of life.  Yep, that sucks too.  The suck-o-meter is peggin' in the red tonight!  It won't be long now.  But his journey is just beginning not ending, and that my friends ....that is the true light at the end of the tunnel for us all.  Godspeed, Floyd.

Grace & Peace,
D

I'm back....

Haven't been around in a while...sorry for the delayed absence.  Sometimes life has a way of stealing the show, ya know?  Finally all moved and dealing with the fact that I can't find anything!  It's freakin' amazing to me that three people can have that much crap...seriously!  We have a two car garage and a shop just full of junk...I see a yard sale in our near future.

Valentine's Day came and went with a bang.  woohoo.  Too tired to even celebrate it.  I did make him dinner at least, lol.  It snowed today, melted, cloudy, sunny, gotta love springtime in Idaho.  It's like getting all four seasons in one day.  Mickey, our Butthole dog (an endearing term he also answers to since he hears it so much) got trapped under the deck the other day...what a dork!  Couldn't find him for a long time, thought he got out and was running the neighborhood.  Just as I was headed down the street to look for him, my son came ripping out the front door saying that Mickey was trapped under the hot tub.  I was frantic thinking that our poor little puppy was under the hot tub, struggling, in pain....Nope.  He had pushed past the lattice work under the second tier of the deck and couldn't get out.  Sheesh...he's not the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes, but we love him anyway!  Hope everyone has an awesome day and don't forget to have a random thought moment or two...it helps clear the crap out of your think tank... *wink* 
Grace and Peace,
D

JUST BITCHIN'

ok....tell me when enough is enough!  This January has to have been the worst month I've had in a really long time!  Unbelievable!  Four weeks ago, my son came down with a really wierd virus that is giving him severe pain attacks in his lower abdomen area.  No stones, no appendicitis, no bowel issues, no clue as to what is causing this.  His Urologist says that all ultrasounds come up normal and nothing showed up on the CT Scan.  So, the only course of action is to keep shoving Norco down his throat until this goofy virus goes away.  Nice solution, eh?  *sigh*  I've not been able to go to work since all this happened...so I doubt I even have a job anymore.  Medical bills are starting to come in now and they are super scary.  And that is just ONE area we are struggling in.

My father in law is going downhill fast.  He is on dialysis and  has no kidney function at all.  I don't think it will be long now.  My husband is really having a hard time with this, he is very close to his dad.  This SUCKS!!! 

Got a phone call today from our realtor.  Our crappy bank isn't working with us on our short sale.  We have a buyer, an offer that is solid, the works...yet they won't extend our auction date.  *SIGH*

Oh....and did I mention we're trying to move in the middle of all this bliss?  ACK!!!!  
Whew...thanks I needed to vent, sorry to whine to you guys, but unfortunately, this has been a really great outlet for me...as my bff said the other day..."cathartic"....in BOTH meanings of the word!   For those of you that DON'T know what that means...
 Anyone else out there going through crap right now?  It would be nice to know I'm not alone!

Grace and Peace,
D

Noun

1.

cathartic - a purging medicine; stimulates evacuation of the bowels

Adj.

1.

cathartic - emotionally purging

Ever Seen 'Marley And Me'?

Ever Seen 'Marley And Me'?  Yeah, well I'm pretty sure we have 'Marley's' evil twin, the world's second worst dog!  My son's three year old Australian Shepard/ Border Collie mix.  His name is Mickey, but he answers to "Butt hole".  This little turd thinks the world is his bathroom!  He marks like crazy.  All I can say is God Bless the guy who dreamed up the Hoover Steam Cleaner and the Spot Bot!   It's a good thing he's cute or his name would've been Homeless by now.  


Three years and six weeks ago, my husband and I decided that we should honor our puppy promise to our son since we had a larger house and our son was old enough to handle the responsibility.  My parents were going through a transition and my son was very close to both of them.  It was starting to emotionally take a toll...so we decided that the timing was definitely right.  Looking through our local newspaper classifieds, I came across an add for Aussie/Border Collie Mix puppies.  They were asking 50 dollars to ensure they went to good homes. 


When I was a kid, my best friend in the entire world was my Aussie/Border Collie mix...her name was Suzie.  Best dog ever.  We did everything together.  We lived in the country on 16 acres when I was a kid and we did everything out there.  My dad had horses and mules out there so we had a trailer and truck to transport.  In the truck, there was a hay trough and I would lift her up and then I would crawl up and we would sit in there and share a lollipop.  :O)  I don't know why we did that in the truck, probably so my mom wouldn't see and scold me!  We would make mud pies together, have picnics in the front yard together, even tea parties.  She was the best dog ever. 


So naturally, when I saw the ad in our newspaper, I knew that this was going to be perfect!  HA!  Little did I know...When I arrived at the house, there were six roly poly fat and fluffy little puppies running around in a long makeshift kennel in the house.  They were sooooooo cute, I wanted them all!  It was really hard to pick just one.  But I kept going back to this chunky little ball of grey, black, and white fur with a spotted nose.  He was playful and just had the sweetest little face.  I was in love.  My son was at my mom's house and I thought it would be a neat surprise for him so after I paid the lady, I took my new found fat and fluffy friend to meet his new best buddy.   My son was so happy!  The look on his face was priceless and it was a perfect match.  They loved each other from the first time they saw each other!   The rest is history.  Between the dog and the kid, we just should not buy or own nice things!  I'll post some examples of said examples later!  Every kid should have the experience of a pet, I truly believe that whole- heartedly.  And every parent should have a special place in heaven for accommodating said pet! HA! 




In Grace & Peace,
D

Stuff Kids Ruin!

Ok..today I had to take my son to the Dr. and afterwards, he conned me into running to Barnes and Nobles to get himself a book.  I didn't put up TOO much of a fight since it was a book he wanted and buying it with his own money to boot!  So...we get there and I found the most awesomest book ever!  The title was, "Sh*t My Kids Have Ruined" it made me laugh outloud because I can totally relate! 

My husband and I finally broke down and bought a new furniture set for our living room 3 years ago and within a year, our son had broke the frame on the sofa from jumping on it...epic fail!  It got me thinking about what those little booger flickers do to us when they are little!  Good thing God made 'em cute ... now we know why lions eat their young !  HAHA! 


And honestly, why do we get soooo worked up about it?  I guess we forget that we once did that too at that age or at least something similar.  When I was super little, I had a really high fever that caused the muscles in my left eye to weaken.  The only correction at the time was by glasses, so from the age of three...I've worn glasses.  Back then, they didn't have cute or fashionable frames back then for kids and I got teased terribly bad.  To the point where I would come home from first grade everyday in tears.  Back then, we had metal lunchboxes and my dad told me to wait until all my bullies (you know who you were!) were around me teasing me about my glasses and then stick my arm out while holding out my lunchbox and spin around in circles and don't stop until you wack 'em...let's just say that they stopped for a little while! :O)  Unfortunately, it didn't last though.  So, I used to break them on purpose during recess so I wouldn't have to wear them.  I don't know how many times my poor parents had to get those stupid things fixed. 


At least I guess I know how both sides of that coin look.  I know how my parents must've felt and I sort of remember how I felt.  It's really hard to remember the kid side of that coin though when they wreck something that you just financed for 48 months! ;O)  Oh well..you can't take it with you when you go!


Here is that lovely broken sofa now...Thanks a lot, Trev!  Note the slight dip in the middle? uh huh....epic fail!  I think it now resides at the thrift store or it's gracing someone else's living room.  I think you can have nice things OR you can have kids.  HAHA!  Just kidding!  I love him dearly!!

In Grace & Peace
D

Funny Lemur

T
This was so stinkin' cute, I just had to share! Ha!

Reflections Of A Phat Chick, Part 2:

*Helpful Hint* Scroll down & Read Part 1 First...
According to WebMD, Hypothyroidism means your thyroid is not making enough thyroid hormone. The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck. It makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy.
Having a low level of thyroid hormone affects your whole body. It can make you feel tired and weak. If hypothyroidism is not treated, it can raise your cholesterol levels and make you more likely to have a heart attack or stroke. During pregnancy, untreated hypothyroidism can harm your baby. Luckily, hypothyroidism is easy to treat.
People of any age can get hypothyroidism, but older adults are more likely to get it. Women age 60 and older have the highest risk. You are more likely to get the disease if it runs in your family.
Hypothyroidism can cause many different symptoms, such as:
Feeling tired, weak, or depressed.
Dry skin and brittle nails.
Not being able to stand the cold.
Constipation.
Memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly.
Heavy or irregular menstrual periods.
Symptoms occur slowly over time. At first you might not notice them, or you might mistake them for normal aging. See your doctor if you have symptoms like these that get worse or won't go away.  How is hypothyroidism diagnosed?  Your doctor will ask questions about your symptoms. You will also have a physical exam. If your doctor thinks you have hypothyroidism, a simple blood test can show if your thyroid hormone level is too low. How is it treated? Doctors usually prescribe thyroid hormone pills to treat hypothyroidism. Most people start to feel better within a week or two. Your symptoms will probably go away within a few months. But you will likely need to keep taking the pills for the rest of your life.   Double Crap!  It's important to take your medicine just the way your doctor tells you to. You will also need to see your doctor for follow-up visits to make sure you have the right dose. Getting too much or too little thyroid hormone can cause problems.

WELL....imagine my dismay!  With Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure, and Diabetes already part of my family histore, now I get to add Hypothyroidism and Vitiligo....awesome.  So...what do I do now?  How do I put Humpty Dumpty Dee back together again?  Well...first thing I did was QUIT SMOKING!   You may also gain weight because nicotine is a stimulant that artificially increases your metabolism. Sometimes people gain weight because they feel hungrier after they quit smoking. so. If you are concerned about weight gain, keep this fact in mind. The health damage of a pack of cigarettes a day is about the same as carrying 60 or more extra pounds. The more you smoke, the more weight you'd have to put on to negate the health benefits of quitting smoking.  This was terribly difficult for me to remain a non smoker.  At the time I chose to quit, my parents were on the verge of a very ugly divorce and my stress levels were at an all time high!  Paired with my wonderful thyroid condition, I gained almost thirty pounds!  EEK!  :'O(  It was super hard to lose the whole victim motif I had going on for myself..., "I'm a big, fat, depressed, loser with a Michael Jackson skin condition ... but hey, I no longer smell like an ashtray!  WooHoo, yay me!"  I was stuck in that mode for a really long time!  I even quit singing for a while...I had become a prisoner inside my new "voluptuous" self.  Something happens to your psyche...you seem to accept your fate, like you deserve to be miserable because you were dumb enough to allow yourself to get this way. 
Let's get something straight, kids...my body is obese.  And I didn't one day wake up to this magically.  My condition is a symptom of the true problem...which 50% is my body not being able to regulate itself and 50% me abusing and neglecting it.  Being fat is only a symptom.  The good news is...I don't have to settle or be a victim of it anymore and if you are anything like me or having the same type of issues...you don't have to either!  In order to have peace and contentment with your body...you have to learn to like yourself and set small goals.  Forgive yourself.  Make a new commitment that you are worth the effort.  That you deserve better!  And you have to be all about true behavioral change and making a new commitment to food.  It's not there to comfort you, to love you, to provide friendship or stress relief for you....it is there to act as a mere fuel to propel your body into motion.  Don't mistake it's purpose.  If you have always had an unhealthy relationship with food in the past, then my guess would be your weight isn't the only toxic thing going on in your life.  One issue at a time!  And hey...one fat chick to another....this is all just MY OPINION....take it or leave it.  But the purpose I posted this on here was to hopefully bring some information to the surface...even if it's only to reaffirm myself.  But, for the record, I hope this helps you too, wherever you are in your journey. 
And if you are fit and healthy and never had to deal with anything like this...well, good for you.  Just remember not to judge someone else for having to deal with this stuff.  You don't have any idea why they are the way they are.

In Grace and Peace~
D

Reflections Of A Phat Chick! Part 1:

After 37 wonderful years, one sits back and reflects...don't they?   I am.  Looking at where I've been, where I've ended up, and where I'd like to go.  My weight has always been an issue.  I grew up learning to lean on food for emotional comfort...silly as it may seem.  Pretty unhealthy way to view a sustaining life force.  I don't think it was really ever an evident, self-defined problem until after I had my son.  I was 26 years old and always managed to maintain my weight at about 135 pounds without trying.  My five foot three inch frame wore that weight comfortably, but by no means was I a "skinny mini".  I was happy there.  When I was in my early to mid twenties, I started to notice that my skin was losing it's pigment on my hands.  How odd...no clue as to why.  Never went to the dr. about it, just thought it was something wierd, some vitamin deficiency.  No one else in my family had it, my parents, my sister...hmm...no big deal right?  I later found out I was pregnant with my first child.  What a blessing!  But a year later, that baby weight was terribly difficult to get rid of.  During my pregnancy, I gained about forty pounds with my son and during the last trimester of my pregnancy, I had developed an undiagnosed case of gestational diabetes.  Ever since, I have done nothing but battle my weight.  I would lose ten or fifteen pounds just to gain twenty or twenty five.  Keep in mind, at this time, I was also a smoker.  *sigh*  My poor endocrine system was being run through the wringer and I didn't even know it!  I didn't even know what a thyroid was, much less how it worked and what it did in my body....or more importantly, what it WASN'T doing in my body.  Just in the last five years, I have done enough research and found that my skin condition is called Vitiligo and is an autoimmune disorder.  According to the American Osteopathic College of Dermatology, this disease affects an estimated 1% of the world's population. It affects individuals of all ethnic origins and both sexes, but is much more easily noticed on darker skin as areas that fail to tan. It is hereditary in one third of those affected. Vitiligo often starts on the hands, feet or face, and frequently pigment loss is progressive. Half the patients first notice vitiligo before 20 years of age. It often appears in an area of minor injury or sunburn.
It is believed that vitiligo is an autoimmune disorder (autoimmune means the bodies own immune system turns on itself). Certain white blood cells direct the destruction of melanocytes. People with vitiligo are also somewhat more prone to other autoimmune diseases, such as alopecia areata, autoimmune thyroid disorders, Addison's disease, pernicious anemia, and diabetes mellitus.   Well....that answers a question or two, now doesn't it?  Crap!  To find out that maybe this wierd skin pigment thing I had developed was also paired up with something that was hindering my weight control problem!  Both of my parents had been diagnosed with hypothyroid disease. 

brier-roisin

brier-roisin


This is my best friend's deviant art site, go check out the rest of her photos.  There are some really awesome shots that she has harnessed.  Pretty cool!  Just wanted to share with the rest of the world...
Grace and Peace,
D

Just 'cause I thought they were funny...

Undisclosed Talent

What happens when we take a hobby, something we dearly love and transform it into work.  Does it alter the whole idea of doing what we love...does it change how we look at what we love to do?  Interesting idea.  My best friend, Kalana Pearson Riley, is a very talented person.  Very rich and affluent in all the arts.  But probably one of my most favorite talents that she posesses is her artistic eye for beauty.  She can see things that I would've never taken a second glance at.  Sure, not tooting my own horn, being a musician and vocalist, I have the ear for music....but I long for the eye of a photographer.  She's got it.  She does it merely for her own entertainment and amusement, but I honestly think that her photos are good enough to be recognized.  Take a look for yourselves...
In Grace and Peace~

D

DVR

I was sick yesterday and stayed in bed ALL day in my jammies.  How funny is that, that we forget what it's like to have a jammie day.  Other than the fact that I felt like complete fecal matter, I would've really dug that idea!  Anyway...as I laid in bed and watched movies, I became a huge fan of my DVR.  Who on earth inveneted such a marvel?  As I lay there in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness, it was so cool to be able to rewind back to the point of my untimely snoozing to see what I missed in the movie.  RIGHTEOUS!  Not to mention fast forwarding through the commercials....gotta love that!  According to Aswers.com

A DVR works like a VCR. Instead of videotape, a DVR uses a Hard Disk Recorder (HDR) to digitally record movies and television shows from your TV to a hard disk (like the one in your home computer). DVRs record in real-time, which allows you to pause or rewind at any point in the program.

DVRs also have networking capabilities that allow you to transfer your digital pictures to your DVR. Some even allow you to hook it up to your receiver. You have many options.

Using a DVR is quite simple: you hook your cable or satellite line to your DVR and plug your DVR into an electrical outlet. There are additional set-up steps if your home entertainment system includes a VCR or receiver or if you are hooking it up your home network. See your manufacturer�s web site for the steps.

The most common use for DVRs is the recording of movies and television shows via your cable service. Recording movies to your DVRs provides more storage (some offer up to 300 hours of recording) and better recording quality than videotape.

Since DVRs record in �real-time� DVRs allow you to fast-forward, rewind and pause of live shows. Also, some have channel search capabilities, which allow you to search for shows by director, topic or even actor. Most will conduct nightly downloads of your cable, antenna or dish service�s listings for up-to-date viewing.

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_does_a_DVR_work#ixzz1ByfbXOAC,

Then, I started thinking of that on a much deeper level...how awesome would it be to do that with life!  It reminded me of that movie "Click" with Adam Sandler.  Not that I'd ever want to do that, because I think you'd miss out on the true experience that life has to offer.  But what was attractive, was the illusion of harnessing time.  Being able to stop it, rewind, or even fast forward!  Sometimes that pause function would be sweet to be able to do, like when you are in the arms of your beloved, or even when a friend comes to visit that you haven't seen in a really long time.  Or maybe even watching your kids open presents on their birthday or Christmas and seeing that suprise and excitement on their faces.  But alas, that's why God gave us memories I guess... :O)  Told ya these blogs would be completely random! *wink*  Please feel free to post your thoughts and Ideas!
In Grace and Peace~
D

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you could watch your life play out from a third party perspective?  Like watching your own movie...that would be pretty cool.  Sometimes maybe it would be a little freaky too.  Watching the mistakes we all make from time to time and watching the physical, emotional, and spirtual pain they cause and feeling rather helpless to stop whatever was coming next...even if you already know.  Kind of like watching that wretched movie, Titanic, the boat always sinks in the end...but I still watch that cursed movie every time it's on. 
I guess I'm glad, that in a way, our lives are so spontaneous and we are completely oblivious to our daily stupidity.  Otherwise, we'd never know personal growth!  Well, that's my theory anyway. 


Reflecting on where I've been, has been quite a ride.  Nothing I ever choose to do, is easy by any means and I suppose I'm grateful for that.  The trials have made me stronger.  Looking back now, cause and effect has been bittersweet.  I've been lost for a while, found, then lost again.  Confused, vengeful, mean, timid, apprehensive, aggressive, happy, sad, straight up pissed, peaceful and content.  I feel that especially in the last fifteen years, I've been from one end of the spectrum to the other.  Everything I thought I knew had been challenged and tested to be wrong.  Imagine finding out that everything you based your existence on, turned out to be superficial and false....without substance.  What would you do?  How would you feel?  I met God several times through out my life, but was too blind to see His outstretched arm reaching to me. 


The gift of life was given to me after doctors swore I would never be a mother.  Although, not quite the timing I would've hoped for, but the best gift anyone could ever be blessed with.  Even then, I still didn't see His presence in my life.  Then failed relationship after failed relationship, I finally met the man I would fall in love with and marry.  Finally, what I wanted...a child, a husband, a home,  a talent and love of music, but still it wasn't enough.  I was depressed and the ever growing undefined hole inside of my heart and soul would soon fester into something that would affect everything  and everyone around me.  A friend of mine had a newfound attitude and contentment that I craved.  I wanted to feel like that.  She invited me to church...I immediately shot that idea down in my mind...Church...whatever.  I 'm not good enough to go to church, that's what I always thought.  "Those walls will cave if I set foot inside those doors".  I never understood Grace in it's entirety.  Finally, my curiousity won and I went to check it out.  My breakthrough happened in November 2008.  I found what I was missing and I felt the hand of God on my heart.  What a blessing that has been and since April 12, 2009, my journey has been transformational!  Lifechanging for my entire family.  I'm not perfect, I swear, screw up daily, make huge mistakes, but because I have a close, personal relationship with Jesus Christ...I don't have to be perfect.  I'm a sinner saved by grace and  I may not be who I want to be, but thank God I'm not who I used to be.  Do you know Jesus Christ?  Do you want to?  Please share your thoughts and feelings, I would love to hear your testimonies or even be able to answer questions or just share stories.  Thanks for visiting my blog and I hope you'll keep checking in!
God Bless You  All!
In Grace and Peace,

D